What are The Best Tips for Better Solutions
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- There are some traits that characterize people with negative attitudes
- Never argue with a negative person, because negativity is contagious.
- Not all people are negative on purpose
- Pessimism not only affects your emotional health but your health.
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It happens we come across negative people; they express themselves in different ways: from criticizing those around them, constantly complaining to bringing others down by ever gloomy mood. What unites them is the negative effect on others.
What to do when the Eeyore effect gets too overwhelming?
Each of us met people who start and end the day with complaints. They can find disadvantages, even in the most optimistic situation. This type is sometimes referred to as “toxic” because of its strong negative impact. The Entrepreneur has shared tips on what to do if a complainant appears in your community.
First and foremost, as everywhere else, it comes to protecting the borders. Keep in mind that it is entirely your job, and the first step here is to define the limits and rules and have a clear understanding of them. If you are not sure if calling you at five in the morning is ok or not, how would the other person know?
You shouldn’t feel obliged to sit and listen to someone with a negative attitude. This energy will seep into life and affect you. Set limits and determine the distance between yourself and this person. If you have to be around such a person, try to keep your contacts short. You cannot control negative behavior, but you can control whether it affects you or not.
Hard to deny but people of the kind could help shape a realistic perception of us as an individual. One peculiarity of human nature is that we can cognize all the facets of our individuality by interacting with different personality types.
As for the boundaries, there is no need to consider and weight off each incident separately. It would help take each sphere of life like relationships, money, business, health, friendship, etc. and define in broad strokes big no-nos, which make you uncomfortable and more or less tolerable. For example, money. Ask yourself what sum it is acceptable to lend and to whom.
Another helpful tip in keeping your boundaries strong is a lack of information negative people have on you. Avoid discussing details of personal life, wins, and losses. Being somewhat reserved with people you don’t really know is a good practice to begin with.
In the case with negative people, it will only ensure you won’t hear details you shared circulating among your acquaintances distorted to a horrendous extent. Again, ask yourself what exactly you consider private, what is ok to share, and, most importantly, with whom.
People who complain focus on problems, not solutions. They will destroy ideas and drag you into a state of self-pity. Eliminate contacts with them.
It can be your co-worker, grocery store cashier, or the neighbor next door. Similar to the broken record, they spew the same negative things over and over: “Weather is awful, not enough money, car broke down again, kids are all impolite brats.” At times you cannot help but feel like asking: ” Would you like some cheese with that whine?”
If you have noticed that complainers see you as a free set of ears, it is time to change the setting. Here are some essential survival tips:
- Validate the complaints. Psychologists claim that the underlying problem of chronic complainers may be… They feel they are not heard. Give some understanding remarks and tell them that everyone would feel the same in a similar situation.
- Do not take the complaints personally. Realize that some woe-is-me people skyrocket their self-esteem by placing blames on everyone around them.
- Point them at the glass-half-full perspective. Find a silver lining in the situation they are complaining about. It would help them and improve your ability to look more at the positive side of different events and happenings.
- Changing the topic is another good strategy.
- Listen attentively and ask directly for the solution as a response.
Avoid Unnecessary Conflicts
Don’t start a conflict every time a source of irritation appears. People will see you not only as a high conflict person, but you will also add toxicity to your life. Instead of arguing, try to ignore negative comments. Control your emotions and prevent the escalation of the situation. Walk away from unnecessary conflict.
Don’t Let the Situation Consume You
Negative people can sometimes behave irrationally. It is a drain hole for your time and energy to try to understand their actions. Do your best to avoid getting emotionally involved in their problems.
Set Up a “Support System”
Connect with positive friends, acquaintances, and coworkers. Try to understand when you need help. When emotions overwhelm you, you can discuss the situation with somebody who has a palliative effect on you.
Include a Positive Attitude
Your happiness and well-being are too important. Don’t allow people to rattle you or influence your attitude towards the situation. Stay positive and limit contact with negative people. If you are lucky, your positive attitude may be repellent for “toxic” people. They can even stop communicating with you.
How Should You Deal With Negative People?
One of the obvious solutions is not communicating with them. It is easier said than done. We can end negative communication with people from outside circles, but what to do if a toxic person is a part of a close family.
To deal with such people, you should understand the reasons for negative attitudes. In short, negative attitudes have roots in one of three deep-seated fears. There is a fear of disrespect, not getting love, and something bad happening. These fears continuously feed each other. The person can conclude that “the world around is perilous, and people are mostly bad.”
It is difficult for a person to believe in the need to follow his dream. He cannot take risks, even if it is necessary for personal growth and development. It is also easy to understand why people with these fears find it very difficult to trust others.
The fears that lie under negative perceptions of the world have different forms.
- Vulnerability or a tendency to take offense at the comments of other people. For example, the phrase “today you look great” can mean: “So yesterday I looked bad?”
- Tendency to see implicit negative motivation in completely innocent actions. For example, guests who do not praise the hostess’s treat do not deserve future invitations.
- Self-doubt. By this feeling, we mean helplessness, an inability to cope with the trials we meet on life’s path. It leads to the emergence of anxiety when faced with shame and guilt.
- Demanding. Acute insecurity in abilities leads to insisting on additional proofs.
- Pessimism or a tendency to believe that the future is dark and hopeless.
- Avoidance of risks, especially in matters of a social nature. It leads to being closed and having superficial relationships.
- Desire to influence the behavior of other people, especially those close to you. For example, negative people have strict demands on how their children should eat, which car to buy, etc.
There is one thing in common: the tendency to blame external factors, but not themselves. These factors include other people, the environment, or “luck.”
Negatively-minded people are of paradoxes. They have self-doubts and, at the same time, demand respect and love from others. Have Pessimism about their future and, at the same time, demand success from others. However, in reality, there is no paradox here.
It happens because negatively minded people do not feel respected and loved. Therefore they demand it from others and seek to control everything around them.
If you look at negatively minded people from this point of view, you will see their cry for help. They try to win love, respect, and the right to control others.
A completely unproductive way to help these people is to give them what they want. However, it can lead to a desire to have even more of that all.
An alternative solution is to make negative people find sources of negativity. Understanding their negativity is a reflection of attitude to the world, not objectiveness.
How can you show your positive attitude to the world, so a negatively minded person adopts it? How to do it without having a lecture and moralizing?
To do this, you need to learn – as much as possible – how to behave like a safe person. It means overcoming the negativity and making your dreams come true. Take risks to trust other people.
However, you should not do all this to prove to the negative person you are right. It is best to behave naturally. Spontaneous, positive attitude and trust towards other people can be your essential traits. If a negative person makes a skeptical or cynical remark – explain to him your way of doing. Don’t allow them to convince you that you can fail. Finally, a pessimist accepts that if there is no risk, people get no success.
Even a negative person will sooner or later appreciate your positive attitude to the world.
People also really enjoy experiencing positive emotions. Therefore, negatively minded people absorb their positivity and start to value themselves more. It will also lead to the fact that they trust others more and look to the future with great optimism.
As you’ve probably figured out, dealing with negative people takes humility. If it is difficult for you to overcome negativity, you have some negativity seeds in you.
Understand that you need to work on yourself to cope with your negativity. Helping other people in their struggle will help you think positively and the maturity necessary to complete this difficult but essential task.
Pessimism affects all kinds of people, and you are not an exception. But keeping and growing a positive mindset will help you reach some balance. Eliminate contacts with negative people and learn about the ways to respond to them. Exclude the toxic people from your close surrounding, and don’t let the negative attitude ruin your life.
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